why is the l word season three so depressing
1. Bette and Tina had their baby (yay!!). Bette is trying to adopt their baby but can't because they have a hardass homophobic social worker who says the baby needs a man in her life (??). They decide to invite David to meet the social worker and tell him moments before her arrival that they want him to tell the social worker he is the man in their life (WHY would you not ASK him and verify that he is on board before you ask him over on the day the social worker is coming????). And he obviously is dramatic about it and says no, because he is homophobic!!! Which we literally know because he was calling everyone at The Planet freaks less than 24 hours before. I hate this plotline. It is mind bogglingly stupid. Bette is addicted to pretending that her homophobic family members will make some kind of exception for her. They will not!
Also for some reason they're having sex problems and have to see some wacky therapist about it. I don't remember them having sex issues before? But whatever.
Bette is also unemployed and keeps being like 'I need to find a job I love! :3 I'm following my bliss! I've turned down several jobs because I didn't LOVE them, you know?' and it's like, no Bette!!!! I do not know!!! Choose a job and work at it!
Oh, also. Their social worker is so far the only disabled person who has been on The L Word, a wheelchair user, and she is a totally evil villain! Which is a bummer. I'm hoping they turn that plotline around, because it truly sucks. She also was really bitchy about making them carry her up their stairs and it felt weird! Didn't like it!
Also they keep saying 'we practice attachment parenting' but it's clear that no one involed with this show actually knows what that means. For some reason they think it means no one can ever put the baby down, which is nothing and I have no idea where it came from.
2. Kit is like 'ugh I'm dying' but turns out she is just going through menopause. Not sure where that plotline is going, but probably somewhere boring. She hires Alan Cumming to manage The Planet (he seems like a real GET for The L Word!) and Bette doesn't like him because he is slutty (????). Which is RICH frankly because everyone on this show is an insane sex maniac who has sex in public bathrooms in the middle of the day, while all their friends are having coffee two feet away and could walk in at any time. But Alan Cumming is a slut because he shows his little nips and wears a corset? Please.
Kit's son David comes to a party at The Planet and says a bunch of bitchy and homophobic things about Alan Cumming/everyone else and Kit tells him to fuck all the way off, which is the only satisfying thing to have happened in any plotline so far this season.
3. Dana has started dating Lara again, which no one asked for or cares about but everyone knew was going to happen. I feel mostly neutral about this plotline. One thing that is bugging me is that they don't tell or show you how Alice and Dana broke up and how Dana and Lara got back together (seems like cheating??). I think this is a huge disservice to the plot because it's hard to understand why Alice is acting like such a lunatic with no context (more on this to come).
Also we are clearly working up to Dana having breast cancer, and nothing good or interesting for the plotline lies behind that door. Boo!
4. Oh, dear god, Alice's plotline makes me want to scream. Alice is running off rails after her breakup with Dana. She seems to be misusing her depression meds (this is played for laughs but I didn't really find it funny, I honestly found it disturbing). She gets into a high speed car chase with Dana that is incredibly stressful to watch and is screaming at Dana from her car (!!?). She has a shrine to Dana in her house (????!!! A huge one!!!). She sneaks over to Dana's place and watches Dana and Lara have sex through the window (????!!!!). She is incredibly and embarassingly rude to Dana and Lara when they're just having coffee and minding their business. It's really disturbing. I can't tell if we are supposed to find the whole thing funny or like, fun in a soapy way? I really didn't! It just made me upset.
Oh, my god, she also shows up to Tina and Bette's unannounced, hits the social worker's car in their driveway, and then is real bitchy and ableist about it. Like, are you on speed right now? Why are you acting like this.
But worst of all....she starts going out with Helena. My god, I haaaaate Helena. I was hoping we would never have to see her again. But she's back, and dating Alice! Because a psychic told her to! This is my nightmare.
Alice thinks Bette and Tina are throwing her a surprise birthday party. I'm not sure why she would think this, because they explicitly say, 'we are inviting you to a children's party we are throwing our baby daughter.' She's like, can I bring Helena? And they're like hm.....literally why would you bring this woman who got Bette fired to our children's party for our baby, but yeah, I guess so.
Alice shows up and is like what is this, some kind of children's party for a baby? And they're like yeah Alice? That's straight up exactly what we said it would be, but she's pissed. They write her name on the cake and all is solved (aw), but she still brought evil Helena to a baby party and it was weird.
4. Jenny is home living with her parents, who seem to be Orthodox Jewish people. Jenny goes to inpatient therapy I guess? It is never addressed. Her family is hella homophobic, which is exhausting. It is hinted that Jenny's tragic backstory is that she got sexually assaulted, but it is not explained why all her flashbacks are circus themed. I have a sinking feeling it never will be explained, which pisses me off. I had to sit through several episodes of disturbing circus themed imagery, and for what?
Jenny brings a girl named Moira home from a bar and has loud sex with her in her homophobic Orthdox parent's house, because she is stupid and, like everyone else on this show, has no sense of social boundaries around sex. Her parents are like 'the fuck jenny? you gotta go' and she's like whatEVER i hate you anyway!!! And she and her piece of ass leave to drive to California together in a huge truck.
I feel mostly neutral about this plotline, except Jenny is being so fucking annoying during it. I actually liked Jenny in season two, but now she's radiating 'I'm soooooo random xD' energy and I'm tired of it.
Side note, Moira gets jumped in a gas station and Jenny tases the guy. This rocked, actually.
5. Shane and Carmen are dating! This is actually the only plotlike that is even marginally fun. Carmen wants Shane to meet her family, but says they have to pretend to be friends because no one ever comes out in her family (??). Carmen's entire family then proceeds to act like they believe Shane is a straight woman and that they, a family living in Los Angeles, have never seen a dyke before, which is insane. They're all like 'she's so beautiful!!! where is her boyfriend??' which is unbelievable even for The L Word.
Carmen's mom is like 'you have to come to Carmen's cousin's quinceanera!!' and then Shane is like 'what's a quinceanera?' which like, come on, Shane. Have you never seen Wizards of Waverly Place? Also, you live in Los Angeles. Engage with the culture a little.
iconic
Carmen's well meaning mom makes Shane wear a dress for the quinceanera that seems to have been made for a toddler to wear while performing flower girl duties.
what adult woman has ever worn a dress like this
They have a good time? Everything seems fine? How long until this plotline implodes? I give it one and a half episodes.
That's where our hardworking heroines are now. Tune in next time to see if any of the plotlines become less bleak!
xoxo,
evt
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